do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
