i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
