Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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