dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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