farters have to be the big spoon...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.