Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
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found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.