Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now