The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible