you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...