At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
