I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
wanna go halves on a baby?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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