I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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