you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
