the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How external is "for external use only"?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize