she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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