I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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