Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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