I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
