You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
