thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
