So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
