so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
