i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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