Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
