awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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