I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
