i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
