he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just want to make out with him forever
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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