I like my sex mixed with concussions.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
