"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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