I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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