She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Still dying that you shit outside
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
