Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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