id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
