Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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