Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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