I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize