y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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