I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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