Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
