i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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