I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
