So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
