I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".