the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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