remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
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Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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