Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize