it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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