Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize