I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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