i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize