and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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