I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
