she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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