So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
