so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
